coolhandofagirl:

security called me at work today and told me they saw me outside chasing a frog around on the security cameras. i wasnt in trouble they just wanted to let me know they saw me. i didn’t catch him.

kawaiite-mage:

eliteknightcats:

cowboys never die. they just ride off into the sunset

is that what your parents told you when you came back from school one day and your cowboy was missing

popokko:

queen-kaiju-lexi:

popokko:

popokko:

also brought a snack 

Gee thanks

you’re welcome !

humunanunga:

arsoniick:

arsoniick:

arsoniick:

we got a new microwave and i dont know how it works but i wanna see if itll say “CHILD” again if i press buttons enough

have you guys never pressed the start button on your microwave 10 times until the ominous blue text calls you a CHILD?

unfollow if you’ve never been assigned child by microwave

unadulteratedpiratepizza:

duccibag:

vine walked so tik tok could soar: a compilation

tik tok has a much more surreal quality to it then vine

powerandglxry:

horror writers and devs: this nasty garbage man is the scariest and most traumatizing thing we’ve ever created, isn’t he terrifying?

ya’ll every single time:

363984:

363984:

They have.. no arms ????

eclogues:

if we all marry and divorce jeff bezo we can singlehandedly distribute all of his wealth

just-a-lost-troye:

“i have a pretty sensitive gag reflex”

kalichnikov:

“Terf is a slur used to silence us” dang bitch I wish it worked shut the fuck up